Imperfect Breasts

I am a boob therapist.

I am not really, but I have dressed everyone from Oprah, Gayle King, Jennifer Lopez and real women in need of makeovers in my years working for O, the Oprah Magazine, Lucky, People StyleWatch, InStyle, “Rachel Ray” and “GMA.” And it all starts with a good foundation.

When I speak with women about bras and their boobs, there’s usually crying involved. And whispering. Women think they are alone when it comes to boob issues. Let me tell you, they are never alone. I listen, I sympathize and I remind each of these women we all have boobs that are not perfect.

I recently worked with an editor from Glamour.com who thought she had a tumor. She cried when she told me of the nagging pain in the center of her chest that had driven her from doctor to doctor, questioning the pain and the soreness. When she allowed me to help her, I discovered she was wearing an ill-fitting bra. The underwire was literally digging into her flesh at the sides and the center. Once wearing the correct size, we discovered that her pain was coming from the scar tissue that had built up from years of wire digging into her.

Talented, gorgeous and full of personality, a 30-something producer for a national talk show admitted that her breasts kept her from dating. One boob was a full cup-size larger than the other and she was contemplating breast augmentation. There were tears as she told me this and then laughter when I told her there are two things I know to be true — guys don’t care and bras with removable pads can even out that “problem” in seconds.

My favorite is the single mom who lives around the corner from me and hugs me each time she sees me. She had lost 100 pounds, but hadn’t taken the time to care for herself. Her boobs had gone south and the sad, soft bra covered by an oversized top did nothing for her new body. Her deeply personal fitting involved talk of divorce, weight loss, kids and more, but in the end she rocked her new 34G bra with confidence like nobody’s business.

Not all of the world’s problems can be solved by wearing the correct bra, but it is a great start.