Leaving wasn’t the hardest part, the decision to leave was. To trust that I could start over, and make it on my own without a safety net was terrifying, but staying would’ve been far worse.
I have two daughters. How could I possibly teach them to be strong, independent women, when I could barely get out of bed? How could I tell them that they deserved everything, when I was showing them I deserved nothing? I started realizing that every tear I cried had less to do with losing him, and more about losing me.
For the first time in a long time I put all my focus on finding me again. Imprisoning myself in a cocoon, sheltering myself from the world. Knowing what will eventually emerge is the woman I was born to be. Everyday I feel more connected to the life that is rightfully mine. To the beauty I once so willingly displayed, and the courageous girl buried deep inside.
I am awakening! The best part of all is not only do I like her, I am falling in love with her. Discovering she has many strengths, and many weaknesses, but it’s her determination to rid herself of her demons that drives her. A fierce butterfly is on it’s way, waiting to spread it’s wings and take flight. Better than before. More confident, more at ease, more aware. Never again will she stray from the beauty and power within. Never again will she accept less from herself or anyone.
I choose me!