I was the middle child of three girls.

I had a narcissistic father and helpless mother. I became the parent during their divorce when my dad left. The three of us had to figure life out on our own.

I had the gift of awareness and paid attention to life around me. I put myself through school and landed the best job after graduation.

Unfortunately, what I learned growing up was a man would complete me and make me happy. Despite my personal achievements, a husband was all I wanted. I failed to know myself and continued to fall into relationships with narcissists until I finally married one.

He was a good-hearted man, and perhaps my soulmate, but an alcoholic. Our marriage was filled with money, achievements, two children, travel and a big house, but my heart was empty. 

I’m sure he was unfaithful throughout our marriage. An affair with our next-door neighbor was blatant enough to open my eyes and divorce him.

Nine years later, I know myself. I’m happy and independent. My kids went away to college and I am alone for the first time in my life. I’ve internet dated and have had many first dates. I cannot seem to find that special someone. 

I’m happy with me, and if this is it, I am peaceful and serene.