Shortly after my daughter’s second birthday, I was feeling lousy. My body was literally trying to tell me, “Wake up!” I signed up for a health retreat in the Berkshires and my journey began.
Once upon a time there was a girl who loved her career, her body, her friends, her life. She went to yoga and spin class five times a week; she never missed an episode of “Scandal” or an issue of Vogue. She looked fabulous and felt invincible. Fast forward twenty years: That “woman” is now frumpy, frazzled, and baking banana bread at 5:00 am for her son’s fourth grade class. She looked in the mirror and did not recognize the person that was staring back at her. What happened? Where did she go? Was she abducted by aliens? The Demogorgon on Stranger Things?
That’s what happened… I thought I was living a fairy tale in reverse and I needed to get in control and get my act together. I needed to fight back against anyone who has ever sugar-coated what mothers go through on a daily basis and press the reset button on my life.
I reset my mind set in order to get myself back.
I had to stop saying “I can’t because” and started saying, “How can I make this happen?” I looked for the choices that put me back on the path where I wanted to be. The power was in my hands and no one else’s. Marianne Williamson wrote, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”
Be. The woman I wanted to be. I visualized her.
- Initiate. Saying I was going to change was nice, but useless. I needed to take some action. Baby steps. For me it started with going back to spin classes and barre classes (at least once a week to start). That was doable. Making just one small move in the right direction helped get me back on track.
- Time out. This for me was one of the most important rules of my reset. I had to give myself a time out whenever I needed it. I took at least 10 minutes a day just to simply breathe. No more hiding in the closet and or feeling guilty for needing a #mto (mommy time out).
- Care. Moms care about everyone in their lives. I stopped pushing my needs under the rug because I was so busy taking care of everyone else. I learned to make myself a priority, too.
- Help. I started asking for it and not making any apologies for asking.