We have all done it. Someone pays you a compliment and you deflect it with a self-deprecating comment.

Why can’t you accept their words and just say thank you? Are you narcissistic if you acknowledge a compliment, without some form of resistance? Where did this stigma come from and how do we change it? Imagine how uplifting it would feel if you started to believe the simple act of kindness that is being offered to you.

I struggled with this concept for a very long time. I could never bring myself to just say thank you. I would always give a compliment back, but at the same time denying their kind words. Until one day, I said those two simple words — thank you — and what a difference it made. It put an extra bounce in my step. The self-doubt disintegrated and it felt amazing.

Everyone needs words of encouragement, but they fall flat if you don’t accept them. You can change this negative thought-process in just a few steps. It doesn’t happen overnight, or at least it didn’t for me, but every time you do it, you become closer to banishing self-doubt and becoming truly confident.

  1. Learn to recognize what causes your resistance to compliments. Is it an insecurity about having attention? Whatever it may be, try to let go of past notions.
  2. If you can’t accept the compliment at first, just give a compliment back. It’s better than denying their words and you’ll feel good.
  3. Just say thank you! It’s short and sweet, and it’s giving respect to that person.
  4. Notice how different you feel once you’ve said thank you. When you don’t put yourself down, you feel good — there’s a chain reaction. This isn’t rocket science 🙂
  5. And just like that, you’ve changed old behavior. Like any habit, the more you do it, the more it stays.

These are the simple tips that helped me. I hope they are beneficial to you too.

Skye Dyer is a singer/songwriter and a work-in-progress. You can follow along on SkyeDyer.com.