As a matchmaker, breakup coaching is an important part of the process. And recovery from being cheated on is a challenge for two reasons — you have to recover from the breakup and look for the signs of why the cheating happened in the first place.
Start by figuring out where things went wrong. Did you attract a cheater? Did he promise to be faithful, but show signs he couldn’t be? Did he say he cheated on his last several girlfriends or wife? These are clues he will cheat again. Now that you have become more self aware, you still need to recover and move forward.
- Don’t Dwell On the Past Don’t spend time rehashing it and comparing yourself to the person he cheated on you with. This isn’t productive and can set you back.
- What Kind of Cheater Was He? Is he a player, a serial cheater, a onetime cheater, a bored cheater? Once you know, learn the signs so you can avoid these types of guys again. You have seen many cheaters before. Don’t get involved with them.
- Cry It Out Give yourself a limited time to cry it out. So for a week, you can stay in bed and cry, or whatever you want. Eat Ben and Jerry’s, watch reruns of the Notebook, or whatever floats your boat. After that, cut it. You don’t want to sabotage yourself.
- Don’t Change Your Appearance Don’t cut or dye your hair, run out and get a tattoo or get any type of plastic surgery. This isn’t the answer. You are vulnerable. Looking your best everyday is great and works wonders. When you look good, you feel good.
- Don’t wear your friends out Pick one friend who will be there for you and discuss the breakup. Ask permission of that friend before unloading on them. It can be emotionally draining so be aware of that because your friend is doing you a big favor.
- Find an Unbiased Therapist A therapist can really help you redirect your feelings into something productive. This is highly recommended if you have insecurity and confidence issues.
- You’re A Great Person List all of your good qualities on a piece of paper or in your phone. At times like this, you need to remind yourself.
- Take Care of You Working out can lift a depression. You need to get you through this. Whatever it takes to up your self confidence is key, whether it’s a stylist, nutritionist, or trainer.
Susan Trombetti is a leading celebrity matchmaker, relationship expert and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking. Tune in to Love Talk With Susan Trombetti on Monday nights at 8 PM, where she discusses various topics and will answer your dating questions live.