I know what you’re thinking, what kind of article is this? Expectations shouldn’t have a negative connotation.
It can be negative when you expect others to fulfill your expectations. Most of the time this preconception leads to disappointment. This translates to any type of relationship, personal, work, etc.
There are extremes to this as well. If someone is not fulfilling their commitments for work or as a parent then you have every right to give ultimatums or possibly cut ties. But I am speaking of the day-to-day dealings where no one gets hurt and it is just a matter of something not being done exactly as you would like.
My dad, the late Dr. Wayne Dyer used to say, “Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you.”
How do we get to that state of awareness? Where does this idea of “I know best” come from? I think from a very early age we form this idea of “perfection” in our minds. When things don’t work out the way we planned it can be devastating. However, if we create our idea of what should happen, we can also change it. Don’t give up on goals and dreams for yourself, but learn to let go of your goals for others. Nothing goes as planned. Most of the time, the biggest letdowns turn out to be our greatest lessons.
I know you are thinking, This is easier said then done, you are not married to who I’m married to or you don’t work with this person. I get it, I just had a baby and I’ve had to learn that even though I do things one way and my husband does it another, both ways are the right way.
- Get Rid of Your Ego Your ego let’s you think you know it all. Let’s be honest — there is always room to grow.
- Learn to Relax If everything gets done, in a timely manner, was it really worth you stressing out?
- Set Realistic Standards
When I let go of “my way is the only way,” not only did my relationships flourish, but I became more content and little by little I realized the end result was as close to perfect as it should be.
Skye Dyer is a singer/songwriter and a work-in-progress. You can follow along on SkyeDyer.com.